Wednesday, 3 February 2016

From Script To Screen - OGR #2


  1. OGR 04/02/2016

    Morning Lewis,

    You've worked really hard to get your story developed since the beginning of the project - and it shows. Your script is nice and zippy, communicating effectively the back and forth and escalation of the two rivals. I would observe that maybe the final catastrophes could and should be even more elaborate, so more animal chaos (parrots flying etc), and more cake calamities (exploding chocolate eclairs) - it just feels a bit 'so-so' and not 'animation' enough. In short, it could all get even sillier!

    One tiny quibble: I don't like the digital clock - it doesn't seem to sit well in the 'quaint' timelessness of your actual world - go for a classic, over-sized wind-up sort:

    Your character designs are fun and nicely distinct; I just wonder if the pet shop owner might benefit from a bit of accessorising, I don't know, something more indicative of his love of animals? Looking at him, his identity isn't written into his appearance, and perhaps it should be.

    I look forward to you moving everything towards a more 'client-facing' standard - so a storyboard that makes more technical use of storyboarding conventions and model sheets for your two characters. You'll want to be thinking too about your sound design as you move to prepare your animatic, because you're in this comic, cartoon universe, so the sound design needs to be similarly larger than life. The library has a big collection of SFX cds, which I'm sure has an edition dedicated to animal noises, so you should investigate those alongside your own experiments.

    Well done, Lewis - now go and have some fun :)